what i go to school for
by ohwhatsherface
Summary: AU. SasuSaku. Sakura decides not to go to prom and text messages are sent. A lot of them.


**title: **what i go to school for**  
author:** ohwhatsherface  
**pairings:** SasuSaku with mentions of NaruIno, ShikaKarin, NejiTen, KibaHina… :D  
**warnings:** AU, prom fever, too much texting, and I made Sasuke and Karin related **  
disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, or _Holly Would You Turn Me On_

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**9:04 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0**  
From: **BeautyQueen69

Dress and shoes: three hundred dollars (surprisingly enough, given that this _is_ Ino Yamanaka).

Ticket: ninety dollars.

Limo payment: forty dollars.

A totally freaking awesome night with my home skillets at our wicked lovely prom?

PRICELESS, BITCH!

SEVEN DAYS UNTIL PROM. SEVEN DAYS.

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**9:07 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** CherryLips0

Oh sweetness, Ino, did you come up with that on your own?

AND I AM NOT GOING TO PROM.

Go away.

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**9:09 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0**  
From: **BeautyQueen69

…OH, I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT YOU JUST SAID YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PROM.

_EXCUSE ME_?

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**9:10 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0**  
From: **BeautyQueen69

HEY.

HEY.

DON'T IGNORE ME.

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**9:11 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0**  
From: **BeautyQueen69

SAKURA EFFIN HARUNO.

ANSWER ME NOW.

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**9:14 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** OriginalPrankster91

Dude.

It's not fair.

Why do 14354574211 girls keep asking _Shikamaru_ to prom?!

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

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**9:18 AM**

**To:** OriginalPrankster91  
**From:** Uchiha2

…it's because you're an idiot.

But it's not your fault.

Or well yeah, it is.

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**9:20 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** OriginalPrankster91

It's because you say asshole things like THAT that Sakura-chan isn't going to prom with you.

LOSER.

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**9:23 AM**

**To:** OriginalPrankster91  
**From:** Uchiha2

Shut the hell up, idiot.

And besides, I haven't even _asked_ her to prom.

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**9:25 AM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From: **BeautyQueen69

THERE IS A BIT OF A CRISIS.

A BIG BIT.

VERY LARGE.

LIKE YOUR ASS IN TENTH GRADE BIG.

OH MY BAD DID I JUST SAY THAT?

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**9:28 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From: **10-10

Don't you have school? DO YOU WORK FOR ONCE, HOLY CRAP.

And okay, you have a lot of freaking nerve, loser, ripping on my former ass.

I am in the middle of studying for my exams and here you are. EXISTING.

WELL STOP, INO. STOP IT NOW.

But don't because then we'd all be very sad.

What's the issue?!

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**9:31 AM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From: **BeautyQueen69

Sorry, sorry. My mind just can't forget the time you broke your chair – AND I DON'T CARE IF IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE BALANCING ON TWO LEGS.

Anyway, Sakura said she's not going to prom.

Just like… no.

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**9:35 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** 10-10

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S NOT GOING TO PROM?!

EVEN _I_ AM GOING TO YOUR PROM.

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**10:02 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** KibaIsCool32

Hey, Pretty Lady!

I heard you're dateless for prom!

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**10:05 AM**

**To:** KibaIsCool32  
**From:** CherryLips0

I'm having trouble taking you seriously because:

a) What the fudge is up with your name – "KibaIsCool32"? REALLY, KIBA?  
b) You just called me "Pretty Lady", you loser.

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**10:07 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** KibaIsCool32

YEAH WELL.

Anyway, your insults shall not deter me.

Wanna go to prom with me, Sakura?

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**10:10 AM**

**To:** KibaIsCool32  
**From:** CherryLips0

Er, that's sweet, Kiba, but:

a) You're asking over a text message. HAVE SOME CLASS.  
b) I am not going to prom.  
c) You're already going with Hinata, dumbass.

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**10:12 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** KibaIsCool32

…Uh.

THOSE ARE ALL JUST TECHNICALITIES.

And if _Sasuke_ asked over a text message, I bet you'd just forward it to your little girlfriends and flail.

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**10:14 AM**

To: KibaIsCool32  
From: CherryLips0

STFU KIBA.

I HATE YOU.

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**10:19 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2**  
From: **Lazy1

Hey babe.

Whatcha wearing?

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**10:23 AM**

**To:** Lazy1  
**From:** Uchiha2

Dude.

What the fuck.

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**10:25 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** Lazy1

Aw, fml. This is lame.

Sorry, Sasuke. I was texting your sister and I accidentally pressed your name.

Yeah.

Delete that message please and we'll pretend this never happened?

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**10:28 AM**

**To:** Lazy1  
**From:** Uchiha2

You talk like that to Karin? Wow, what a slut.

And are you taking her to prom?

Seriously?

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**10:30 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From: **Lazy1

Well duh, she _is_ my girlfriend at the moment.

What about you? Got a date?

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**10:32 AM**

**To:** Lazy1  
**From:** Uchiha2

I don't think I'm going to prom.

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**10:34 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** Lazy1

Dude.

_What_?

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**10:35 AM**

**To:** Hinacakes63  
**From:** CherryLips0

I'd like to start by stating that I did nothing wrong.

Your boyfriend asked me to prom.

BUT I DID NOTHING AND SAID NO, OBVIOUSLY.

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**10:38 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** Hinacakes63

Yeah.

About that.

Me and Ino sorta asked him to.

What is this that I hear that you're not going to prom?

DIDN'T YOU ALREADY BUY YOUR TICKET?

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**10:40 AM**

**To:** Hinacakes63  
**From:** CherryLips0

…I don't understand your logic.

Why would you tell your boyfriend to ask me to prom?

THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

And yes I did, but that's totally irrelevant.

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**10:41 AM**

**To:** KibaIsCool34  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

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**10:43 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** KibaIsCool34

You and Hinata already asked me, moron.

I tried. She said no.

But she couldn't even be nice. She was really bitchy and smart over what could have and should have been a simple "no."

TCH.

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**10:44 AM **

**To:** Lazy1  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

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**10:46 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** Lazy1

I have a girlfriend, moron.

But I guess I wouldn't mind taking two girls…

Take that up with Karin?

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**10:49 AM**

**To:** Lazy1  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU.

Why are you such a slut?

Never mind, Shikamaru, don't ask Sakupants to prom.

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**10:51 AM**

**To:** Neji007  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

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**10:54 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** Neji007

I don't even go to your school anymore.

Dumbass.

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**10:56 AM**

**To:** Neji007  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

Oh yeah.

I totally forgot.

WELL WHATEVER, YOU PRISS.

Knowing you, she'd _miss_ prom with how long it takes you to get ready!

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**10:57 AM**

**To:** Neji007  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

OH, BURNED YOU SO BAD, NEJI.

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**10:58 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** Neji007

Piss off, Yamanaka.

Some of us are thinking about their educations.

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**10:59 AM**

**To:** OriginalPrankster91  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

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**11:01 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** OriginalPrankster91

…huh?

I'm going with _you_, idiot.

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**11:02 AM**

**To:** OriginalPrankster91  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

SHUT UP AND TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM.

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**11:03 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

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**11:05 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

OMG IT'S _YOU_.

YEAH, DOUBLE TIME.

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

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**11:06 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

OI.

UCHIHA.

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**11:07 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

SASUKE.

SASUKE.

SASUKE.

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**11:08 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

SASUKE EFFIN UCHIHA.

OI.

HEY.

YOU.

HEY. HEY. HEY.

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**11:09 AM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

You're a total douche bag.

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**11:11 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** Cutie-Karin66

Yo.

So I heard you're not going to prom.

What's up with that?

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**11:14 AM**

**To:** Cutie-Karin66  
**From:** CherryLips0

Hey.

And nope, not going.

Can't pick a limo, can't pick a dress, can't pick a table.

It's all so troublesome.

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**11:17 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** Cutie-Karin66

Ew, you've been hanging out with my boyfriend too much.

And I think you forgot "don't have a date."

LOL.

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**11:19 AM**

**To:** Cutie-Karin66  
**From:** CherryLips0

…THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU.

Whatever.

You're not helping the case.

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**11:21 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** Cutie-Karin66

Nah, I'm just kidding.

Why aren't you going with Sasuke?

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**11:22 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** Cutie-Karin66

Sakura?

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**11:23 AM**

**To:** Hinacakes63  
**From:** 10-10

Maybe we can call Lee up to ask her?

She totally wouldn't have the heart to say no!

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**11:25 AM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Hinacakes63

That would work if he wasn't off in the middle of nowhere portaging.

Sigh.

OF ALL TIMES FOR LEE TO DISAPPEAR.

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**11:28 AM**

**To:** Hinacakes63  
**From:** 10-10

Well did you ask anyone else?

Naruto?

Kiba?

Shikamaru?

ANYONE?

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**11:30 AM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Hinacakes63

They all have dates.

I don't understand why she won't go.

I mean… blah.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WON'T GO.

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**11:31 AM**

**To:** Hinacakes63  
**From:** 10-10

SERIOUSLY.

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**11:32 AM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Hinacakes63

SERIOUSLY.

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**11:33 AM**

**To:** OriginalPrankster123  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

So I have come to a conclusion.

I'm not going to prom unless you can make your Best Friend ask my Best Friend to prom.

Seriously.

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**11:34 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** OriginalPrankster123

Seriously?

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**11:35 AM**

**To:** OriginalPrankster123  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

Seriously.

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**11:36 AM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From: **OriginalPrankster123

…balls.

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**11:49 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** Lazy1

You're seriously not going to prom?

Why don't _you_ just be the one to ask Sasuke?

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**11:53 AM**

**To:** Lazy1  
**From:** CherryLips0

EXCUSE ME, BUT WHAT THE HELL DOES SASUKE HAVE TO DO WITH ME NOT GOING TO PROM?

I don't have a dress.

And it's too late to fit into someone's limo.

And… yeah.

And even _if_ I wanted to go with Sasuke, hypothetically, I totally refuse to be the one to ask.

HMPH.

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**11:58 AM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** Lazy1

Oh shut up, you know Ino and Hinata would squish you in for sure.

And besides, Sasuke has a car.

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**11:59 AM**

**To:** Lazy1  
**From:** CherryLips0

I AM NOT GOING WITH SASUKE, DOUCHE BAG.

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**12:02 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** 10-10

HEY.

SASUKE.

HEY.

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**12:04 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** 10-10

UCHIHA.

LISTEN.

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**12:05 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** 10-10

UCHIHA.

REPLY.

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**12:06 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** 10-10

I'M NOT KIDDING AROUND.

ANSWER ME.

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**12:07 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** 10-10

UCHIHA OMFG.

THIS IS A LIFE/DEATH SITUATION.

SORTA.

ANSWER NOW.

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**12:08 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** 10-10

…I don't like you.

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**12:21 PM**

**To:** Cutie-Karin66  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

Yo, crisis at hand.

Your brother and my best friend both totally suck.

Make him ask her to prom!

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**12:24 PM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** Cutie-Karin66

Obviously I've tried.

I want Sakura at prom, too.

Winning Prom Queen wouldn't be as fun without her there.

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**12:26 PM**

**To:** Cutie-Karin66  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

CUZ YOU KNOW.

_I_ AM GOING TO WIN PROM QUEEN.

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**12:28 PM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** Cutie-Karin66

HA!

YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT, BLONDIE.

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**12:30 PM**

**To:** Cutie-Karin66  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

EAT MY SHORTS, RED.

I'M GONNA BE PROM QUEEN.

BELIEVE IT.

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**12:31 PM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** Cutie-Karin66

…I win this round on the grounds that you quoted Naruto.

FYL.

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**12:32 PM**

**To:** Cutie-Karin66  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

Ew, I did.

FML.

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**12:45 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** OriginalPrankster123

Dude.

Ino's totally gonna shaft me if I don't get you to ask Sakura-chan to prom.

So…

ASK HER?

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**12:48 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** OriginalPrankster123

SASUCAKES?

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**12:51 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** OriginalPrankster123

DUDE.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE IGNORING ME.

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**12:52 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** OriginalPrankster123

BASTARD.

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**12:55 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** OriginalPrankster123

SASUKE.

SASUKE.

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**12:58 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** OriginalPrankster123

I hate you.

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**1:09 PM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** KibaIsCool34

What about Shino?

He's cool.

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**1:11 PM**

**To:** KibaIsCool34  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

But he's the DJ!

As much as I love Sakupants, Prom needs him more than she does.

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**1:12 PM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** KibaIsCool34

Fine.

Well what about Chouji?

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**1:15 PM**

**To:** KibaIsCool34  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

Tch, I asked earlier.

He has a college girlfriend, did you know that?

How does Chouji get a hottie out of culinary school?

THAT'S JUST A DREAM COME TRUE.

THIS IS BULL.

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**1:17 PM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** KibaIsCool34

Aw, blondie. Don't worry.

It's not like you're alone or anything.

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**1:20 PM**

**To:** KibaIsCool34  
**From:** BeautyQueen69

It's not _that_.

It's just like…

WHAT THE HELL CAN _NARUTO_ COOK?

_RAMEN_?

Lame. Sigh.

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**1:24 PM**

**To:** BeautyQueen69  
**From:** KibaIsCool34

Yo, Yamanaka.

SHUT UP.

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**1:37 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** Hinacakes63

Hey, Sasuke!

What's up?

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**1:40 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** Hinacakes63

Sasuke?

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**1:42 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** Hinacakes63

Okay you obviously see through my plans.

I'll be straightforward then:

ASK SAKURA TO PROM.

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**1:47 PM**

**To:** Neji007  
**From:** 10-10

Remember when you asked _me_ to prom?

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**1:49 PM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Neji007

Honestly?

No. Not really.

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**1:50 PM**

**To:** Neji007  
**From:** 10-10

We're over.

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**1:52 PM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Neji007

Wow, I was joking.

Yes, I shouted it over the balcony in the front foyer.

It wasn't my fault though.

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**1:54 PM**

**To:** Neji007  
**From:** 10-10

What do you _mean_ IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT?!

WHAT, NEJI?

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**1:56 PM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Neji007

Well Lee was the one who told you to look up at me when we were up there.

_He_ was the one who made the scene.

Not me.

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**1:57 PM**

**To:** Neji007  
**From:** 10-10

We're over.

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**1:58 PM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Neji007

Well it's not like I was _unhappy_!

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**1:59 PM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Neji007

Tenten.

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**2:00 PM**

**To:** 10-10  
**From:** Neji007

Ugh, fml.

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**2:03 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Oi, I need to talk to you.

Come outside.

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**2:05 PM**

**To: **Uchiha2  
**From:** CherryLips0

Can't.

Kurenai-sensei is lecturing.

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**2:06 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Go to prom with me.

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**2:07 PM**

**To: **Uchiha2  
**From:** CherryLips0

…that's it?

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**2:09 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

What do you _mean_ "that's it?" you annoying woman?

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**2:12 PM**

**To: **Uchiha2  
**From:** CherryLips0

EXACTLY THAT.

NO.

I WON'T GO TO PROM WITH YOU, ASSHOLE.

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**2:15 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

What the hell is _wrong _with you?

My inbox is full of annoying idiots demanding I ask you to prom.

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**2:17 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** CherryLips0

YOU ASKED ME BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE TELLING YOU TO?!

SCREW YOU, SASUKE.

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**2:20 PM**

**To:** CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Ah, shut up.

The message has been sitting in my outbox for the past… while.

I didn't really know what to say.

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**2:22 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Sakura.

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**2:23 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Sakura.

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**2:24 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Oi, Haruno.

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**2:25 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

SAKURA.

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**2:26 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Yo.

Sakura.

Reply.

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**2:27 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Sakura, you annoying woman.

Answer me.

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**2:29 PM**

**To: **CherryLips0  
**From:** Uchiha2

Sigh. Dammit.

Okay so:

_When you gonna give it up?_

_You're giving me such a rush._

_Come on Sakura, would you come to prom?_

(With me?)

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**2:30 PM**

**To:** Uchiha2  
**From:** CherryLips0

LMAO AT YOUR FAIL OF QUOTING ALL TIME LOW.

It almost flowed. Almost.

But okay.

Fine.

Yes, Sasuke, I'll go to prom with you.

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**2:44 PM**

**To:** CherryLips0**  
From: **BeautyQueen69

Making Kiba ask you to prom: twenty dollars.

Unlimited texting: ten dollars.

The many long-distance ones sent to Tenten: five dollars

A totally freaking awesome night with my home skillets at our wicked lovely prom?

PRICELESS, BITCH!

SEVEN DAYS UNTIL PROM. SEVEN DAYS.

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_fin_.

…

**fml:** fuck my life


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